My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
