Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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