All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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