Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
