Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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