what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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