I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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