He kissed a someone with a penis
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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