For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
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