Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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