someone get that fucking seahorse.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's blow job season.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
