I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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