miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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