Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
