just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Randomize
