she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
