real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
