if i can run in heels then i can drive
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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