Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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