Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
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On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
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It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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