He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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