I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
