My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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