Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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