it's too hot outside to masturbate.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
