Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
