So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
