Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
