the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
