used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
