so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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