Im at strip club and am horny
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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