im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just google imaged poop.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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