exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
