my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
