In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
