So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
