..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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