omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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