does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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