so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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