Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
