Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
