we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
