Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
