So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
