After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am one with the molecules
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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