dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
