she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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