people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
