it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
