it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
