I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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