The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
