Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize