question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We're using joints as your birthday candles
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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