i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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