Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
