I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
